With my daughter’s wedding now nearly two months past I am beginning to hear the most glowing reports from friends and family. Not about the wedding, per se, but about the thank you notes.

There are many indicators that we parents have raised polite, considerate and gracious adults but none so obvious and often not considered as their ability to write a thoughtful thank you note. In fact, even with pride in all of my daughter’s many accomplishments throughout her life, the recent phone calls and emails I’ve been getting from people who received a thank you note for their wedding gift have made me feel, well, thankful.

This acknowledgement has made me particularly thankful that I raised a child who appreciates what others do for her; thankful that my daughter knows, without my nagging or my instructions, exactly what she needs to say to acknowledge the generosity, and, while I’m at it, thankful that her husband, also schooled by his mom in the appreciate nature of thank you notes, shares the same values.

It’s been years since I’ve had an occasion to write thank you notes that numbered 100 or more (especially when you consider my daughter had just finished her shower thank you notes when the wedding rolled in) but I do remember how easy it was to slip into the familiar refrain: “Thank you for your generous gift. Hope to see you soon.” It’s not that you don’t appreciate the gift it’s just that the task of writing these can start to feel like a chore. What with work, schoolwork, household errands, social activities, visits to the gym, laundry…

Then you remember that the person you are thanking put effort into finding you a gift, paying for it, wrapping it, sending or delivering it, and that was just for your engagement, or your shower, or your wedding.  Taking a few additional minutes per note seems like a small price to pay. And judging by the comments I’ve received from so many people, that extra thought really makes people feel appreciated.

They certainly don’t need to thank me for Debra thanking them.

But thanks anyway.



P.S. If you haven’t heard from Debra or Matt as of yet, you will. They want to thank you properly.